Learning From Past Relationship Mistakes So You Don't Repeat Them
It’s never easy when a relationship ends. You might immediately start thinking about what you could have done differently. Or, you might wish you had noticed some obvious red flags your partner displayed early on. Whatever the case, the worst thing you can do after a breakup is to feel like you wasted your time with that person. Every relationship should be a learning experience. It’s an opportunity to grow and discover more about yourself. You’ll learn more about what you need, what you want, and where you see yourself in the future.
If you’re getting back into the dating world, take a step back and choose to learn from past relationship mistakes, so you don’t repeat them. Let’s take a closer look at how you can do that.
Be True to Yourself
One of the biggest mistakes you can make when getting into a new relationship is “conforming” to fit in with what someone else wants. While it’s okay to change your perspective on some things, you should never lose your own identity or compromise your beliefs or values just to be with someone. If you do end up losing your identity, you’ll have a harder time finding it again if the relationship ends. Stay true to yourself as you start dating. Someone is out there who will be absolutely crazy about your personality and values.
Don’t Be Hard-Hearted
Whether you’ve been in one failed relationship or many, it’s easy to become a bit jaded when things don’t work out. No matter why things end, don’t become hard-hearted. Maybe that was why your previous relationship ended. Let go of past hurts and anything that might cause you to have a negative view of relationships. It’s okay to be cautious, but not at the expense of opening up your heart to someone new.
Date A Different Type of Person
Are you known for being attracted to a particular “type?” If so, it might be time to look for someone who is the complete opposite. Your type might not be good for you. A lasting relationship has to go far beyond initial attraction. It also needs to go beyond charming personality traits that might not last. Consider going against the grain and dating someone who wouldn’t typically be your type. You might be surprised to find that you have a lot in common, and their personality fits yours almost perfectly. Opposites can attract and end up forming the strongest relationship ever.
Don’t Ignore Red Flags
One of the most important things you can do in a relationship is to trust your gut. Red flags are often the first indicators of something worse to come. If you’ve seen red flags in past relationships but ignored them, make sure to pay attention to them as you move forward. The sooner you pay attention to them and do something to stop them (including leaving the relationship if necessary), the better. When someone realizes they can get away with bad behavior, they’re never going to make positive changes. They might even see just how far they can push things, damaging your relationship and making you miserable in the process.
Look Toward a Healthier, Happier Future
Everyone makes mistakes in relationships. It doesn’t matter how your past partnerships ended or who was in the wrong. What matters now is what you can learn from those mistakes. Keep these ideas in mind as you start dating again. The more you choose to learn from your past and take action as you go forward, the better your next relationship will be. You might even end up finding “the one.”
If you need assistance processing what happened in past relationships, reach out to our office so a trained professional can prepare you for the dating world again with relationship counseling.